The Pigs orgasm and the brainless starfish

Dear mouse, Christmas countdown Bayi fwded these earth shattering facts: 1.If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (recipe for kosong cafe) 2.If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Some terrorists are still at it.) 3. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (Imagine when a person is angry!) 4. A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.) 5. A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death! (I have yet to see a headless one causing trouble, and I still can't get over the pig.) 6. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour (No use if you want to lose weight.) 7. The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Male mantis: "A kiss is not a kiss, a sigh is not a sighhhh….ugh") 8. The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (Should it be spelt "flee" instead?) (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?) 9. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (The frog has proven to us) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (Who took the trouble to count them and what could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) 10. Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity) 11. Butterflies taste with their feet. (I always wonder what it would be like. Anything to do with reflexology?) 12. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (Being ambidextrous, I have the advantage of four years, 182 days and 12 hours.) 12. Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Isn't it obvious?) 13. A cat's urine glows under a black light. ( A black light? Against black, everything seems to glow.) 14. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some politicians like that.) 15. Starfish have no brains. (I know some politicians like that too.) 16. Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer?) 17. Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Hey! What about that pig??) Back to Now What, Ca t? The Ca t

Friends, Flowers and Books

Dear mouse, Magnolia and the Mouse Ca t: Why does your friend talk to the flower ? Mouse: She talks to the flower just like she talks to her friends. Ca t: But that is plastic. Mouse: So are some of her friends. mwehehe Tuesday with Morrie/Harry Potter and a rose Dilbert and bouquet of roses Back to Now What, Ca t? The Ca t

Let's speak Spanish

Dear mouse, Cerrado means closed. Sinabi ng sarado. KULIT eh. picfwdedbypolo/editedbycat. Hige. Back to Now What, Ca t? picfwdedbypolo/editedbycat. The Ca t

Got to confess

Dear mouse, hindi po ito bayanihan. Ito po yong katulad nang tumitirik ang sasakyan pag may baha. Itutulak para umandar. nyuk nyuknyuk Back to Now What, Ca t ? The Ca t

Advisory on Symptoms of Bird Flu

Dear mouse, The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately: 1. High fever 2. Congestion 3. Nausea 4. Fatigue 5. Aching in the joints 6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield Back to Now What, Ca t? The Ca t

New Turkey Recipe

Dear mouse, Here is a new way to prepare your Thanksgiving or Christmas Turkey. 1. Cut out aluminum foil in desired shapes. 2. Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully. 3. Roast according to your own recipes and serve. 4. Watch your guests' faces. hehehe picfwdedbypolo. Back to NOW WHAT, CAT ? The Ca t

Where's the Chef?

Dear mouse, How the turkey greeted President Bush Happy Thanksgiving Day? Back to NOW WHAT, CA T ? The Ca t President Bush,turkey,Thanksgiving Day

And That's Entertainment

Dear mouse, 1. Sa totoo lang, feel ko, magiging popular pa rin si HERO. Itaga... ninyo yan sa bato. Hindi panghilod ha. Si Alfie Lorenzo, ewan ko. 2. Whoever gave that new look to Joseph Bitangcol should be made to walk on knees in Quiapo. Pinaganda ng husto, di ko tuloy malaman, kung sino sa kanila ang babae ni Sandara? 3. Haven't you noticed lately? The female stars had added a few "pounds" in their lips. Collagen. aha. Notice when they speak. Some of them talk like they had edema in their toungues. Some "pangiwingiwi". At least si Angelina Jolie, pababa ang ngiwi. 4. Magpapastor na lang daw si Philip Salvador? Nakita ba niyang malaki ang kita sa simbahan? Back to NOW WHAT, CAT ? The Ca t Hero Angeles,Philip Salvador,Sandara Park

He did it again Arghhhhhhhhhhhh

Dear mouse, My webmaster did it again. Argggh sumusobra na siya. hehehe. Halos sumirko-sirko ang aking pusa para lang mapansin ako nang matagal ni Ajay at mafeature sa Blog-O-Rama noong Agosto. Tas ngayon, ito na ang aking webmaster na feature na sa Manila Bulletin after less than six months of blogging. An excerpt of his interview. Cyempre, yong special mention si Pusa. Q. How did you start to blog? How many blogs do you maintain? A. Cathcath (syempre ako ito) and Yuga (siyempre siya si Yugs aka AbeOlandres) are the "guilty parties" that introduced me to blogging. Even before I graduated from college, I am already into designing professional web sites. This year, Cathcath asked me to design her weblog's theme and convinced me to put up a weblog hosted in her site. While doing the design and the maintenance of her blog, I have to coordinate with Yuga who also pushed me to climb on the bandwagon of the bloggers. I have four blogs, namely, Retzwerx , Ang Panday Blog, and Pinoy Lyrics, and Sam Milby Collection. Ohmmm apat, gagawin anim ang sa akin. hehehe Q. What do you like about blogging as a personal activity? What is the best thing that blogging has brought you since you started? A. Blogging is an outlet for my creativity. My works become a model for my students who are encouraged to start blogs as early as in their freshman years. Q. What have been the highlights of your blogging life since you started? A. The best thing that happened to me is to be linked for one month in the popular Darren Browse' Problogger after I won the logo design contest, barely a month after I started blogging full time. Wow, for me that was great. It brought traffic to my obscure website. My poop-tographs were "looted "by popular political analysts such as Manuel Quezon 3 and PCIJ for their book recently published. My web design was also credited when Now What, Cat ( http://www.cathcath.com) was featured in the Manila Bulletin. Ayan, basahin ninyo the rest of the entry in Manila Bulletin or in retzwerx where he gave some tips to bloggers regarding webdesign. The Ca t P.S. And to think noon, I was snubbed by one lady web designer because I do not belong to their group. Manila Bulletin,cathcath,Pinoy Big Brother,Ang Panday

The Man errm Woman who would be Queen

It seems that the publicity machine of the royal couple is churning out press releases about the Duchess of Cornwall in preparation for being the future queen of England? Every little move or outing away from the palace is a piece of news. Camilla to turn on festive lights Profile and Love story Camilla Parker Bowles was born on 17 July 1947 in London, the daughter of Bruce and Rosalind Shand. She grew up in rural Sussex and was educated at the Queens Gate School in South Kensington, before finishing school in Switzerland and France. The Prince of Wales and Camilla met at a Windsor polo match in 1970, a year before the prince joined the Royal Navy. Press release said that they just became great friends all those years before Prince Philipp admitted adultery in public in 1994. Camilla was married to Cavalry officer Andrew Parker Bowles. They have two children, Tom born in 1974, and Laura, born in 1979. According to stories, Camilla helped the prince to choose a suitable wife - Lady Diana Spencer. Princess Di went on television to say there was a love triangle and the other woman was Camilla. Camilla faced public disapproval and occasional anger in the street. Camilla and Andrew Parker Bowles divorced in 1995, with the cavalry officer re-marrying Virginia Pitman just a year later. The idea of Charles and Camilla as a couple was gradually introduced to the public when the royal couple separated. However, the death of Diana in August 1997 in a car accident renewed the criticism against Camilla so she retreated from public life. She slowly emerged as Prince Charles' companion and joined his sons on a Mediterranean cruise in August 1999. In the same year she was photographed with him for the first time at the Ritz in London. Later she had been regularly been photographed accompanying Charles to galas. Before they were married, she became the prince's live-in partner at the newly renovated Clarence House. Her marriage to the prince paved the way for her full inclusion in the Royal Family. And may be they will live happily ever after, like King Edward and Mrs. Simpson? Bakc to NOW WHAT, CAT ? The Ca t President Bush,turkey,Thanksgiving Day

How to say Merry Christmas in Different Languages?

Dear mouse, More than 101 ways to say MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! 1. Afrikaans: Gesëende Kersfees 2. Afrikander: Een Plesierige Kerfees 3. African/ Eritrean/ .Tigrinja: Rehus-Beal-Ledeats 4. Albanian:Gezur Krislinjden 5. Arabic: Milad Majid 6. Argentine: Feliz Navidad 7. Armenian: Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand 8. Azeri: Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun 9. Bahasa Malaysia: Selamat Hari Natal 10. Basque: Zorionak eta Urte Berri On! 11.Bengali: Shuvo Naba Barsha 13.Bohemian: Vesele Vanoce Brazilian: 14. Boas Festas e Feliz Ano Novo 15. Breton: Nedeleg laouen na bloavezh mat 16.Bulgarian: Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo 17. Catalan: Bon Nadal i un Bon Any Nou! 18. Chile: Feliz Navidad 19. Chinese: (Cantonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun 20. Chinese: (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan (Catonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun 21. Choctaw: Yukpa, Nitak Hollo Chito 22. Columbia: Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo 23. Cornish: Nadelik looan na looan blethen noweth 24. Corsian: Pace e salute 25. Crazanian: Rot Yikji Dol La Roo 26. Cree: Mitho Makosi Kesikansi 27. Croatian: Sretan Bozic 28. Czech: Prejeme Vam Vesele Vanoce a stastny Novy Rok 29. Danish: Glædelig Jul 30. Duri: Christmas-e- Shoma Mobarak 31. Dutch: Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast 32. English: Merry Christmas 33. Eskimo: (inupik) Jutdlime pivdluarit ukiortame pivdluaritlo! 34. Esperanto: Gajan Kristnaskon 35. Estonian: Ruumsaid juulup|hi 36. Faeroese: Gledhilig jol og eydnurikt nyggjar! 37. Farsi: Cristmas-e-shoma mobarak bashad 38. Finnish: Hyvaa joulua 39. Flemish: Zalig Kerstfeest en Gelukkig nieuw jaar 40. French: Joyeux Noel 41. Frisian: Noflike Krystdagen en in protte Lok en Seine yn it Nije Jier! 42. Galician: Bo Nada 43. Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil agus Bliadhna mhath ùr! 44. German: Froehliche Weihnachten 45. Greek: Kala Christouyenna! 46. Hausa: Barka da Kirsimatikuma Barka da Sabuwar Shekara! 47. Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimakaame Hauoli Makahiki Hou! 48. Hebrew: Mo'adim Lesimkha. Chena tova 49. Hindi: Shub Naya Baras 50.Hungarian: Kellemes Karacsonyi unnepeket 51.Icelandic: Gledileg Jol 52. Indonesian: Selamat Hari Natal 53. Iraqi: Idah Saidan Wa Sanah Jadidah 54. Irish: Nollaig Shona Dhuit, or Nodlaig mhaith chugnat 55. Iroquois: Ojenyunyat Sungwiyadeson honungradon nagwutut. Ojenyunyat osrasay. 56. Italian: Buone Feste Natalizie 57. Japanese: Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto 58. Jiberish: Mithag Crithagsigathmithags 59. Korean: Sung Tan Chuk Ha 60. Latin: Natale hilare et Annum Faustum! 61. Latvian: Prieci'gus Ziemsve'tkus un Laimi'gu Jauno Gadu! 62. Lausitzian:Wjesole hody a strowe nowe leto 63. Lettish: Priecigus Ziemassvetkus 64. Lithuanian: Linksmu Kaledu 65. Low Saxon: Heughliche Winachten un 'n moi Nijaar 66. Macedonian: Sreken Bozhik 67. Maltese: IL-Milied It-tajjeb 68. Manx: Nollick ghennal as blein vie noa 69. Maori: Meri Kirihimete Marathi: Shub Naya Varsh 70.Navajo: Merry Keshmish 71. Norwegian: God Jul, or Gledelig Jul 72. Occitan: Pulit nadal e bona annado 73. Papiamento: Bon Pasco Papua 74.New Guinea: Bikpela hamamas blong dispela Krismas na Nupela yia i go long yu 75. Pennsylvania German: En frehlicher Grischtdaag un en hallich Nei Yaahr! 76.Peru: Feliz Navidad y un Venturoso Año Nuevo 77. Philipines: Maligayang Pasko! 78. Polish: Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia or Boze Narodzenie 79. Portuguese:Feliz Natal 80. Pushto: Christmas Aao Ne-way Kaal Mo Mobarak Sha 81. Rapa-Nui (Easter Island): Mata-Ki-Te-Rangi. Te-Pito-O-Te-Henua 82. Rhetian: Bellas festas da nadal e bun onn 83. Romanche: (sursilvan dialect): Legreivlas fiastas da Nadal e bien niev onn! 84. Rumanian: Sarbatori vesele 85. Russian: Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom 86. Sami: Buorrit Juovllat 87. Samoan: La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou 88. Sardinian: Bonu nadale e prosperu annu nou 89. Serbian: Hristos se rodi 90. Slovakian: Sretan Bozic or Vesele vianoce 91. Sami: Buorrit Juovllat 91. Samoan: La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou 92. Scots Gaelic: Nollaig chridheil huibh 93. Serb-Croatian: Sretam Bozic. Vesela Nova Godina 94. Serbian: Hristos se rodi. 95. Singhalese: Subha nath thalak Vewa. Subha Aluth Awrudhak Vewa 96. Slovak: Vesele Vianoce. A stastlivy Novy Rok 97. Slovene: Vesele Bozicne. Screcno Novo Leto 98. Spanish: Feliz Navidad 99. Swedish: God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År 100. Tami: Nathar Puthu Varuda Valthukkal 101. Trukeese: (Micronesian) Neekiriisimas annim oo iyer seefe feyiyeech! 102. Thai: Sawadee Pee Mai Turkish: Noeliniz Ve Yeni Yiliniz Kutlu Olsun 103. Ukrainian: Srozhdestvom Kristovym Urdu: Naya Saal Mubarak Ho 104. Vietnamese: Chung Mung Giang Sinh 105. Welsh: Nadolig Llawen 106. Yugoslavian: Cestitamo Bozic 107. Yoruba: E ku odun, e ku iye'dun! Merry Christmas!!!! The Ca t Go back to Now What, Ca t ? clip-art from hellasmultimedia

The Veterans, The Buzz and Me

Dear mouse, After that marathon of quizzes and projects in the last two weeks, I feel tired and sleepy. In between those short winks, however, I was able to watch three Pinoy veterans mouthed something that woke up my sleeping encephalon. They justified the raping of the pinay by the marines. Whaaaaat? The old man said that Pinays these days have forgotten the Maria Clara way. (no raw?) Susme, naman, lolo, you want our women dressed in patadyong or saya? Nabasa kaya niya ang Noli Me Tangere at nalaman kung sino ang tatay ni Maria Clara? I saw the underwear of the pinay as exhibit evidence in MGB. (Bakit naipakita yon? Shall I make sampal of myself. Uhm uhm) Hindi man nga bikini. It is more of a ladies' hanes. Ang mga gamit yata ng mga babaeng nasa hospitality industry ay thong? O sige, batuhin na ninyo ako ng kawali, palayok at pati na refrigerator, but I dislike these talent managers, Cristy Fermin and Alfie Lorenzo who were in the BUZZ not once but twice (gasgas na yan ha) in a row. Why do they have to destroy the life of a person just because he does not want to change manager? OHWell, ang showbiz talaga. Buti na lang hindi ako ta-artits. But this UP stude Hero Angeles is fighting like David to the Goliaths of the movie industry. Pag hindi ka maging successful sa showbiz, you are not cut out for an industry where delicadeza is a French word. They do not even speak French. Back to Now What, Cat ? The Ca t

In Constant Search for Heroes

Dear mouse, Countdown for Christmas My great grandmother outlived four husbands. (Matindi). By the time, my grandmother was growing up to be a lady, most of her half-siblings were already past their prime age. She died twice. Yeah baby, not once but twice. The first time, she died, she claimed that she saw an old bearded man in a pearly gate. He did not find her short name that started in letter A in the book Life so he made her see a cave full of candles at the flick of a finger. High tech na rin pala ang langit noon. Her candle was still burning while another candle beside hers was already flickering. During that time, dead people had to wait for their home-made coffins. There were no funeral parlors, no embalming and vigils were done at home. The big living rooms were not only for parties but for wakes too. After the "journey of her soul", she got back to Earth and found her sister dead. The busted candle was her sister's. Grandmother While my great grandmother's career was in the health care, my grandmom was in business. According to my mom, she was so good in business that if the moon was put up for sale, she could have sold a piece of it, no sweat. She was a mother to her brood of 16, Yeah baby, more than a dozen. Busy pa yang magnegosyo because she was the bread winner of the family. That was from two marriages. Thirteen from the first and three from the second and more than twenty adoptees at some given time. (hhhm kaya pala). She was practically running a family and an orphanage!! My mom used to say that she did not raise a family but a village. When my two uncles enrolled in UP, she decided to relocate in the city. She planned to be a stay-at-home mom but fate would not allow her. She thought they would not survive from a meager salary of my grandfather. In less than a month of stay in the city, she was able to put up a convenience store. She would go to Divisoria to buy wholesale and sell them at big mark-ups. Until, she died, she had a store, coconut, rice farms and fishpond to manage. Hmmm that must have started the family's love for business. Back to Now What, Cat ? The Ca t clip-art from hellasmultimedia

House+Wife

Dear mouse, Are you desperate to have a husband? Auction yourself in the Ebay Woman auctions home - and herself A woman who claimed that dating services and blind dates (walang nabulag) is auctioning herself over the internet as the bonus extra for her house that she is selling. She is 48 while the house is 95 years old. The auction - which is also listed on eBay - closes on Valentine's Day 2006. Sige, bid na kayo, boys. Back to NOW WHAT, CAT? The Ca t eBay,housewife,bbc

UN Survey

Dear mouse, Christmas song countdown. forwarded by Bayi. A United Nations' survey? Impossible Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about the solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was, not surprisingly, a huge failure, because: In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And, In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant. The Ca t adds: In the Philippines, they do not know what unity means. Back to NOW WHAT, CAT? The Ca t UN,Eastern Europe,China,US

NANOng Nangyari

Dear mouse, It's me. I suffer silently. The little piece of my mom that I got is never to give up. While others drown their problems in bottles and drugs, I keep my mind busy. So Nanong ginawa ko? Sumali ako sa NANOWRITING CONTEST which started NOW. ANO? Huwag ninyo akong titingnan ng ganyan. Alam kong magagaling na ang mga nagsusulat doon. At kailan ko lang nalaman na pede pala ang foreign language. Sabi nga sa akin sa e-mail, are you crazy? YES, I AM. Total quantity lang naman ang hinahanap at hindi talagang nobelang matino. Di hindi rin matino ang aking isinusulat. Total hindi ko nauupdate ang aking pinaysaamerika, kaya iyong NANO entry ko ang aking isusulat doon. Sample? “Yessssssss” “Why what’s wrong with this outfit. I bought this under lay-away plan. Pretty expensive. I have to eat a lot of instant noodles for a few weeks to pay for this. “Hello, hello, Houston, we got a problem. My dear, business suit does not mean you have to be like a gray canvas. You do not have to come like a new ordained novice in the nunnery of the Carmelite sisters. Pink sisters yes. If I were the interviewer, I could have dropped down on my knees start praying the rosary and ask for special indulgence. Mother Theresa is dead, darleeeng.” Mwehihihi Punta na. Back to NOW WHAT, CA T? The Ca t

She Visited Me

Dear mouse, My mother's death anniversary was yesterday. Her manifestation usually comes in dreams, these days. But yesterday morning, it was different. I was having my breakfast... in the dining room when the news from the Philippines started to air in the TV in the living room. So I decided to pick up my mug and my biscuits to watch the news. I did not remove the five pieces of biscuits from the plastic wrapper. Sipped, ate one piece of biscuit, sipped and I was about to get another biscuit when I can't find the whole pack. There should be four more pieces. Did I forget having eaten them? If I did, where's the wrapper? So back to the dining table to get bread. That was my last pack of biscuits. And look what I found. The biscuits on top of the table. I said, hi mom. Back to NOW WHAT, CA T? The Ca t